Greenpeace, Russell Norman barking mad

“Why did you jump into the sea in front of the large ship, Mr Norman?” asked the judge.*

“It was a peaceful uprising, m’lud, no more than that. We were concerned to stop this mad pursuit of new oil. I mean, why can’t we burn the old oil? That’s what I’d like to know. It used to be perfectly good oil, though sometimes the Anglia would develop a bit of a knock of a cold morning. But we don’t need this new stuff, it’s killing the planet. As well as that, we’re in the midst—the midst, I say—of nothing less than a climate emergency, brought on, they reckon, by this very oil the mad buggers are seeking of. It’s the government’s fault. And the oil companies, big oil, as we call them. Killing the planet. M’lud.”

“How’d you get out there, Mr Norman, 50 kilometres off the coast? It’s a damn long way by canoe, son.”

“You’re not wrong, m’lud, perfectly correct, as usual. We actually got out there on a small vessel we just purchased for $100,000. Well, it was crowd funded. They gave it to us. Brilliant! Well, I say small, it’s actually large, or we wouldn’t be allowed to take it on the open sea. Runs on diesel. Easy.”

The judge was silent a moment. “Killing the planet, the diesel is, you know that? Plus you were out of line, son. Interfered with productive efforts, won’t have it. You use the diesel as much as everyone else. It’s not the big oil that uses it, it’s the users that use it. The big oil just sells it. You know, you’ve changed since you left the Parliament. You need a new perspective on life. Thirty days in the slammer should do it, and be grateful it’s not longer. Dismissed.”

Greenpeace’s MV Taitu


Greenpeace says its New Zealand executive director Russel Norman was among activists who jumped into the sea to try to thwart deepwater seismic testing for oil 50 nautical miles off the Wairarapa coast.

Greenpeace, the ever-thoughtful employers of Mr Norman, tried hard to cover up the fact that in attempting to alter the course of the Amazon Warrior Norman breached provisions of the Crown Minerals Act. In fact, they reached out to their very best PR guru to put the best possible spin on the day’s unfortunate events. God forbid that people get the idea the ship was forced to halt operations and change course or it’s illegal to interfere, or anything like that.

Greenpeace said in a statement that its swimmers had managed to force the oil exploration ship to halt its operations and deviate off course, which the group said was a breach of the so-called Anadarko amendment, an amendment to the Crown Minerals Act in 2013 that made it a criminal offence to interfere with offshore oil and gas structures and established a 500 metre non-interference zone around any structure or ship engaged in exploration.

Yeah, that should do it, no probs.

Norman said in the statement that “neither the government nor the oil industry can stifle people across New Zealand peacefully rising up against this mad pursuit of new oil to burn in the midst of what is nothing less than a climate emergency.”

Oh, sure it is, definitely a climate emergency, after the temperature resolutely refused to rise for 20 years and only went up when a gigantic El Nino came along, which has now gone and the temperature is back to what it was before. The CO2 was rising faster than ever all this time.

Mad pursuit of new oil, what’s that for? Well, hospital equipment, fertiliser, ambulance transport, defence of the realm, education, school picnics, police cars, tractors, pea harvesters, the morning red-eye to Wellington and fishing boats.

Maybe he doesn’t like being thrown under the bus, er, ship, but he did it to himself. Clearly, Russell Norman is as mad as a hatter, as thick as a brick and doesn’t understand prosperity.

* Dialogue to be imagined in the dulcet cadences of our inimitable and beloved John Clarke, may he rest in peace.

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25 Thoughts on “Greenpeace, Russell Norman barking mad

  1. Bulaman on 11/04/2017 at 7:50 am said:

    I suspect that Resolute VS Greenpiss in Canada may well bankrupt them. That said if Little A can get off for what he said then maybe the bludgers might get a walk.

  2. Andy on 11/04/2017 at 8:05 am said:

    A nice tribute to John Clark, one of our finest. I’m sure he would have approved

  3. Maggy Wassilieff on 11/04/2017 at 10:27 am said:

    What you haven’t yet realised is that the dirty oil is for special people
    It’s not for thee and me.

  4. Mike Jowsey on 11/04/2017 at 3:38 pm said:

    Even before I read the attribution, I could hear John Clarke’s voice within your prose. Classic. You, sir, are a playwright. Here’s some more recent work by the dearly departed:


  5. Andy on 11/04/2017 at 6:53 pm said:

    I just watched One Fake News at 6 tonight. The Norman story came up, immediately followed by a BBC propaganda piece on coral bleaching in the Great Barrier Reef.

    What are the chances? Surely a coincidence that One Fake News would put these stories back to back?

  6. Richard Treadgold on 11/04/2017 at 9:35 pm said:


    I’m sure he would have approved

    I met him at the Herald in the 70s, caught him cheerfully stealing a fag and a light from the desk of the absent editorial secretary. What a laugh.

  7. Richard Treadgold on 11/04/2017 at 10:47 pm said:


    It’s not for thee and me.

    No, I see what you mean. And I always thought I was special.

  8. Maggy Wassilieff on 11/04/2017 at 11:13 pm said:

    Cribbed from Lubos Motl’s blog

    A rich has-been tries to lecture a little old lady.

  9. Richard Treadgold on 11/04/2017 at 11:41 pm said:


    You, sir, are a playwright.

    It was a bit of fun.


    I certainly did, I’ve just spent ages chuckling over these videos, thanks.

  10. Andy on 12/04/2017 at 8:59 am said:

    “Ministry of Oil” charges Greenpeace NZ head, Russel Norman

    Russel Norman, Greenpeace NZ executive director, Sara Howell a 25 year old Greenpeace volunteer from Wales, and Gavin Mulvay, a kite maker from Ashburton, have been charged with interfering with the oil exploration ship Amazon Warrior under the Section 101B(1)(c) of the Crown Minerals Act, known as the Anadarko Amendment.

    As it happens, I know Gavin the kitemaker, from snow kite trips. I’d better watch my tongue

    “Three of us who got in the water yesterday in front of a climate-destroying oil ship have been charged.

    Also, I have worked on these “climate destroying’ ships in my time in the UK. I’m not sure how a seismic survey destroys the climate though

  11. Andy on 12/04/2017 at 9:03 am said:

    Here’s a picture of the ship Norman threw himself in front of

    He is lucky to be alive, I reckon

  12. Andy on 12/04/2017 at 12:19 pm said:

    To put this into a bit of perspective, I can recall some data from my time on seismic ships.
    A seismic exploration vessel tows “streamers” of about 5km in length behind it, possibly multiple streamers.
    Each streamer is filled with kerosine, and uses a set of fins called “birds” that makes the streamer fly at a constant depth below the sea surface.

    The boat has an airgun array that sends compressed air pulses into the sea bed at frequent intervals (about 8 secs I think). The returned signals are picked up by hydrophones mounted on the streamers

    A 3 D survey will gather data from many closely packed lines. Each line takes quite a distance to line up and navigate to in place.

    Putting a person or vessel in the line of the vessel is endangering lives, and would also cause a lot of expensive downtime for the survey vessel

  13. Andy on 12/04/2017 at 4:17 pm said:

    In this Newshub clip, Dr Norman claims that the ship is trying to kill him and his kids with climate change destroying oil (watch until the end)

    These people are mentally ill

  14. Mike Jowsey on 14/04/2017 at 7:00 pm said:

    The ship is, according to him, trying to kill his kids. .No. It is simply not. The ship is trying to conduct a geological survey. He is a snowflake libtard.

  15. Maggy Wassilieff on 18/04/2017 at 9:11 am said:

    The aussies don’t think we are going to achieve 100% renewable energy supplies.

    Looks like Russell Norman and his Green followers are not going to live in a “carbon-neutral” world.

  16. Richard Treadgold on 18/04/2017 at 10:30 am said:


    Thanks. That’s an unusual link. I wasn’t paying attention at first but eventually observed that upon reaching the page, a pdf was downloaded. Worked out fine in the end, though I don’t read cyrillic. Fascinating paper; more to say on it shortly.

  17. Maggy Wassilieff on 20/04/2017 at 8:50 am said:

    Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth fined for breaking Electoral spending rules in 2015 UK election.

  18. Richard Treadgold on 20/04/2017 at 9:09 am said:

    Yes, the lunacy of those righteous ones appears to obscure the rules. They certainly don’t care to obey them. Just days ago they were jumping into the sea in front of a giant ship.

  19. Andy on 20/04/2017 at 10:05 am said:

    Continuing the theme of lunacy, this reprehensible article in the Nation has the claim that CO2 is more deadly than Sarin gas

  20. Richard Treadgold on 20/04/2017 at 11:04 am said:

    I could scarcely believe my eyes, Andy. Poison gas, mega-drought, 12 million homeless, hot enough to melt lead (on Venus!), turns oceans acidic, most noxious gas of all. ‘Reprehensible’ scarcely bites deeply enough for all this. Their evil pen needs a forceful shove somewhere tender.

  21. Richard Treadgold on 20/04/2017 at 12:02 pm said:

    I’ve left a comment for the good professor — oops, I called him Mr. but I don’t care.

  22. Maggy Wassilieff on 20/04/2017 at 5:23 pm said:


    I see you’ve got top billing and only up-ticks, so far.
    Did you have to take out a subscription before you could comment there?

  23. Richard Treadgold on 20/04/2017 at 7:29 pm said:

    Yes, $12 buys six months. I was furious. Nice to get good marks (thanks for letting me know), but I don’t think I have top billing, just the most recent comment. I did a bit more research after posting that and found there’s not much of a mystery to Syria’s precipitation since 1920 so I’ll post another comment about that. Prof Cole is another warmster who just harps away on the same string. But his conclusions are evidence-free.

  24. Maggy Wassilieff on 20/04/2017 at 10:49 pm said:


    Wonder if you’ve come across this paper by Francesca de Chatel… gives a good outline of the mismanagement of agricultural policies and water allocation in Syria leading up to the conflict period.

    She is very critical of the spin that has been placed on climate change/drought being responsible for Syria’s war.

  25. Andy on 21/04/2017 at 9:37 am said:

    For the record, Wikipedia describes the rather horrendous effects of Sarin Gas thus:

    Initial symptoms following exposure to sarin are a runny nose, tightness in the chest and constriction of the pupils. Soon after, the person will have difficulty breathing and experiences nausea and drooling. As they continues to lose control of bodily functions, they may vomit, defecate and urinate. This phase is followed by twitching and jerking. Ultimately, the person becomes comatose and suffocates in a series of convulsive spasms

    CO2, on the other hand, is a non-toxic gas essential for life on Earth.

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