Because we champion diversity and inclusion
And we’re fully prepared to fire you if we don’t get it.
Another white man has his job threatened merely by expressing an opinion on gender issues that differs from some orthodoxy, the explanation some ambiguous double-speak about diversity and inclusion. You couldn’t make this up. Oh, wait: it’s all made up.
Anyway, poor old Kevin Roberts is forced to take an unplanned holiday from work. It shouldn’t be too onerous. With his income last year reportedly $4.7 million, he should have the readies to fly to a tropical island he fancies for a couple of weeks soaking up the rays while his future is determined.
Publicis Groupe works very hard to champion diversity and will continue to insist that each agency’s leadership be champions of both diversity and inclusion.
But clearly, your opinions must not stray very far from ours, or (never mind your opinion) we shall describe you as not valuing the importance of inclusion, which makes the listening public gasp in horror and disbelief and lets us immediately besmirch your good name, suspend you without pay or terminate your employment. We can do this even when you have an excellent record of valuing inclusion—because it is your highly visible, questionable, public statement just now that must be stamped on.
Of course, you are white. If you were some shade of brown, we would be delighted to signal our virtue by trumpeting our “inclusion” of you. If brown, we would be prepared to bend quite a lot to achieve this, so you must quite seriously offend against our moral code before risking your job.
The buzz words are a bit confusing. “Diversity”, which naturally indicates numerous cultures and ethnic origins, seems to be applied only to gender—but there are only two. The idea of “inclusion” seems important. I don’t know whether inclusion might mean allowing a person of the opposite gender to share your table at morning tea, including them when relating a ribald tale or something else entirely. I haven’t spent much time with media people.
Note that the leaders are called leadership (“good morning, your leadership”?), and it must be a plural noun, since leadership are champions.
The Groupe will not tolerate anyone speaking for our organisation who does not value the importance of inclusion.
I’m annoyed at the woeful lack of precision, fairness and reasoning. It’s those at the top table thumping the table, that’s all it is. They have good language skills, but that just means they know how to misshape their sentences so we mistake their meaning.